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Archive for the ‘Meatball’ Category

Aloha, Eggheads.

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Blue Hill at Stone Barns (hey, I’ve actually pulled carrots there, not kidding) announces the latest fad in welcoming customers: a cured egg yolk lei! As patrons enter the restaurant, they’re greeted with the lei and directed to their seats.  Oh wait, no they’re not. The restaurant takes the cured eggs and grates them over pasta or whatever. So… why this guy (the chef) is making them into leis, who knows. But more importantly, how bad must he smell?

Other highlights from Bon Appetit’s Big Ingredients of 2014: pancakes for dinner (please don’t make pancakes into ramps, please please), bronze fennel (oh dear god) and “a shot and a beer” (i.e. Friday night).

Shut Up, Bacon #72299: That’s A Stretch

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

New Rising Media reports “Study Shows Eating Bacon Will Make You Live Longer,” an incredibly misleading headline about a study in which scientists tested roundworms with doses of niacin. My favorite part of this report? “The vitamin [niacin] is also rich in the likes of Marmite, paprika, peanuts and sun-dried tomatoes.” Because, as we all know, Marmite is one of the leafy greens found in the wild known for its properties of longevity. (Do they know Marmite is a brand? Do they know it’s a spread created by humans?)

I mean, if you wanna eat bacon, just shut up and eat it already. It’s not going to make you live longer. If you love it, maybe you’ll enjoy your days more. If you write for SUF, however, you’ll die sooner because everyone keeps bro’ing out on it and it’s been driving you crazy for years.

And then she never went to Starbucks again.

Thursday, January 2nd, 2014

The Starbucks Challenge for the woman named Beautiful Existence is complete! And I didn’t even know it had started.

She says she did it because, “Where are the WOMEN challenging themselves in the world? Where are the effects being shown on a woman’s culture? A woman’s family & children? … Where is HER VOICE on how an international company is directly or indirectly impacting everything from her waistline to her bottom line and every other woman’s, man’s, child’s, societies and planets world with their presence?” Meaning, that guy that ate McDonald’s every day and Jared from Subway had made their mark on the world with conspicuous fast food consumption, and she was wondering where the ladies were at in these challenges. She maintains that her health is actually better after this year-long experiment.

The cost averaged $500 – $600 a month just for her, not for the rest of her family, which is impressively high (I spend max $200 on food a month for me and my hombre in NYC). Coupled with her ideology and reasoning, I fail to see how this is a successful or groundbreaking stunt. I guess, what I mean to say is… what’s the point? The feminism link is weak and she’s super stoked on a major company that doesn’t need any free help, really. Maybe the happiness factor can be explained by the wicked caffeine fix? Am I the only one missing it here?

I can’t.

Monday, December 30th, 2013

Zack Morris

A glance at the list of restaurants celebrating their 10th anniversaries in 2014 makes it clear that 2004, like the years 1967 and 1991 in music, or 1939 and 1999 in film, was a game-changer for the city’s restaurant scene.

From The New York Times’ article 2004, the Year That Changed How We Dine; 12/30/2013

My eyes just rolled out of my head and down the hallway, out the door and into the street and got ran over by a livery cab. This comparison is the pits, NYT. THE PITS. Ugh.

Pizza Monster.

Monday, December 23rd, 2013

The LA Times says, “This is not a joke.” The Mirror calls Macauley’s take on Warhol’s eating a hamburger but with pizza, “deeply weird.” Noisey says the video shoot “smells like ass. A very doughy take on ass anyway.”  Stereogum added the final coup d’etat, “Yeezus? Fuck that, meet Cheezus.”

The Pizza Underground. I wanna see you live. I’ll borrow my girl Beyonce’s pizza getup and y’all better get ready.

Take Another Lil’ Pizza My Heart, Beyonce.

Saturday, December 21st, 2013

I’d say we all put our pizza pants on one leg at a time, but this is Beyonce, and she surely has some extra special, surprise! the pants are on at midnight! sort of way to dress herself. If I wore this outfit, I’d be ridiculed in the streets, but this is Beyonce, and she looks both quirky and fabulous, all at once. Does Beyonce even eat pizza? An article on E! points out that Bey is now vegan (for the time being), so the pizza clothing is a shock, a SHOCK!

You know who does eat pizza? Katy Perry, in the bathtub, which I discovered watching “Part of Me” (so what, I watch documentaries of questionable content on Saturday mornings). And while searching for the scene, I discovered loads of people have saved the scene, and left off her head. So that’s disturbing – do people get off on this? Gross. Looks like it’s only safe to wear pizza pants, not eat pizza in the bathtub.

The Call of SUF!

Friday, December 20th, 2013

“And for added horror, the serving platter is an old Nazi plate with a Swastika on the bottom that a friend bought in an old abandoned Luftwaffe base in Germany.”

OH, LIKE WE WEREN’T GONNA POST THIS. C’MON!  While I understand and give props for ingenuity, I guess (I mean, do I?), this is just too good to be true in terms of SUF. One, it’s a mildly horrific visual. Two, it’s a Frankenstein bastardization of a turducken. Three, a NAZI PLATE TOO? File this under too much bad stuff at once. My head almost exploded when I read that it’s straight outta Lubbock, TX (the closest city that had a mall in my childhood).  How much would this even cost!?

(From Gothamist)

What we’ve been sayin!

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Laurel Miller knocks it down in an article entitled “Dropping the F-Bomb: why ‘foodie’ needs to go away” today:

I’m not saying it’s wrong to spend disposable income, if you have it, on costly ingredients or dining out. But the fetishizing of food, the pissing contest that is the hallmark of the archetypal foodie is what I cannot abide. This is what’s at the heart of foodieism; the need to belong to a special club, with a language all its own. In our status-obsessed society, we need to separate ourselves from the plebes who think that the Olive Garden is serving “Italian” food.

The article pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Potatoes are gettin’ political

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

“I don’t feel like potatoes or french fries are the enemy,” he [Doug Davis, food service director for Burlington, Vt., schools] said. “What we need to do is strike a balance in what our kids are eating.”

Should they stay or should they go?

VEGAN BLACK METAL CHEF: NO! WORDS!

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

What the… what!!!! BRILLIANT.