O Canada! Today is your day, and we celebrate your bacon, your bagels, your syrup, your Mounties. And also your teachers! While teachers here in the US are underpaid, caught up in horrible bureacracies and nearly powerless to make change, you’ve cleverly turned the tables.

The Ontario Teacher’s Pension Plan is the largest stakeholder in bigtime food company Maple Leaf Foods, and this gives them power. Ok, they haven’t used that power to do much other than reject a poison-pill protection plan, which they say “prevents us from exercising our legal rights as shareholders.” I don’t even know what that means.

But think of the possibilities. What if educational pension plans bought up shares in school lunch companies, or textbook companies? They could wield a lot of power. TEACHER TAKEOVER!