Here, Have An Art Film With Your $8 Candy Bar

The Mast Brothers from The Scout on Vimeo.

Eh. The Mast Brothers seem nice, and they make great chocolate bars, but the luxury-product as-return-to-the-old-days thing is tiresome. What old days? Feudalism? When the lords in their mansions feasted on hand-crafted foods while poor folks ate crap? Those days are here, my friends!

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Categories: Snacktime

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  • Meatball

    I’m annoyed that no matter what, I will never be able to find a chocolate factory as wondrous as Willy Wonka’s. Where are those old days, Snacktime!?!


    • Snacktime

      Yes! I was thinking about how that woman at the Fancy Food Show kept telling us that her cheese was “cave aged” and I wanted to know if that was a beauty treatment. Do things age faster or more slowly in a cave? My point being that maybe some foodies could connect with the people who do cave tours because seeing an underground waterfall and then having a freshly-made cave chocolate would be rad.


      • Meatball

        “Cave chocolate” sounds like a euphemism for poop.


      • Meatball

        But I see your point! I really do!


      • Snacktime

        PS I went into Mast Brothers once (I was walking by with a friend who knew one of them) and everyone was sitting around a table in the back drinking wine and wrapping chocolate, which is sort of the Williamsburg version of Wonka.

        Man all this candy talk in the AM is making my mueslix look pretty bleak. I knew I should have gotten the chocolate Cheerios.


        • Meatball

          Maybe we can go visit them and wrap their chocolate bars?

          You know I’ll slip in a golden ticket into one.

  • love the comments on this. I can only imagine their bars cost so much because it’s expensive to personally hand-craft every chocolate bar. They only make I think 400 of them a day. Compared to Herseys, which probably makes 400 a second. It’s the whole Walmart vs. Little Store price argument: Walmart can charge 4 dollars for a shirt that they mass produce in India but the Mom and Pop store that personally makes it can’t charge less than like 20 dollars.

    Anyway, get one of their bars. I know it seems pricey, but once you try it, it’s worth its value times a million. It’s a really unique experience. And I’m no foodie. But anyway it’s a damn shame that anytype of personalization and craft can’t financially compete to what we are used to these days. Thank you Walmart.


    • Meatball

      Good point. To be fair, I think the bars look really great & giftable. I would totally drink wine with them.

      (Who wouldn’t I drink wine with, I wonder?)


    • Snacktime

      Well, but Ed, it’s not just about the consumer. Where does this leave those workers who are still at Walmart and working in India? We are supposed to forget about them and be all “Yay, two white guys are making Real Chocolate?” There’s more to it than that. The discussion has to be about more than ingredients and taste. Read our posts about the conditions of the workers who provide “wild” fish for the American market. You should make a movie about them!


  • Snacktime

    I mean, I know their chocolate is good, and it would be super fun to sit around and drink wine and wrap candy. But it would not be changing the world.

  • I agree, “eh.” I’ve been in a few times, and their chocolate is definitely above par. I’ll also give them that the packaging is nice, and adds to the experience. But there was about at least three barf moments in that film. Did anyone at any point in that production tap them on the shoulder and remind them that they were talking about a candy bar? That soaring church choir classical music moment, a la cohen brothers, was too much; unfortunately it lacked any of the self aware irony of the cohen bros. I’d totally buy into all that “it’s crafted,” “it’s more than chocolate,” if they weren’t so precious about it. It’s chocolate dudes, chocolate.