vegetarians
On The Menu: Vegetarian Gristle
I find fake meat depressing. I’m a vegetarian and somehow I’ve really never thought to myself, “This tempeh would be so much better if it had some tendons and veins in it, like meat does.” Does anyone? So fucking gross. And yet, Science continues to attempt to serve this apparent consumer desire. From a Time magazine story:
This spring, scientists at the University of Missouri announced that after more than a decade of research, they had created the first soy product that not only can be flavored to taste like chicken but also breaks apart in your mouth the way chicken does: not too soft, not too hard, but with that ineffable chew of real flesh. When you pull apart the Missouri invention, it disjoins the way chicken does, with a few random strands of “meat” hanging loosely.
A decade of research. Just think, in a few years there could be factories turning out fake chicken the way factories process chicken now. There can be fake vegetarian chickens for us to keep in our backyard, and of course the free-range vegetarian chicken will cost more.
Doubly Annoying
The vegetarian double down is two bricks of cheese, some fake chicken and fake bacon, and altogether sad. I’m waiting for the raw food double down— two slabs of jicama, some sprouts, and some dehydrated mushrooms.—Snacktime
Sometimes My Fellow Vegetarians Shame Me
I like that he was also looking out for the chubby girls.
When officers arrived, they found meat scattered everywhere in what Edinburgh police called one of the most bizarre cases they had ever investigated.
Police said Anthony Coffman, 28, used a hunting knife to cut through meat packages, throwing open containers of raw beef on the floor. He then poured dog food over some of the meat in hopes of contaminating it so it couldn’t be sold, Edinburgh police Deputy Chief David Lutz said.A store employee tried to stop Coffman, but gave up when he threatened the employee with the knife, police said.Coffman told police that he is a vegetarian and gets upset when others consume beef, telling the employee that God sent him to ruin the meat and that he was trying to save little girls from food he believes would make them “chubby.”