Shut Up Bacon V: More Sweet, Sweet Bacon


Donuts arrive top-coated in a frosting-like glaze that is sprinkled with chewy, salty-sweet bacon bits. If you’re sharing, be prepared to fight for these bites. Of course, the real move is to dunk a bacon-studded nub in the excellent accompanying homemade coffee ice cream.

Apparently, this was born out of a BBQ-off whereupon Chef “Big Lou” from Wildwood Barbecue (NYC) was saddened by the lack of dessert meat in his life, so he added these to his menu.

We are one step away from Bacon Pie, y’all.

Things That Solve Problems You Never Knew You Had


“They are not only the hottest grilling accessory of the season, but with four fantastic collections to choose from Grill Charms™ make the perfect gift for any occasion!”

It is also super-awesome that they are listed under “Men’s Grilling Accessories.” But fear not, lady grillers. You won’t have to mark your steaks with lipstick because there is a special “Pink Collection” just for you. And it includes a breast cancer ribbon charm. What could be more appetizing? You can serve it to your friends right after you all get mammograms and pedicures.  Somehow I don’t think this is a subtle reference to the fact that barbecuing has been linked to cancer. Other designs in the pink collection include a shoe and a glass of champagne. Strangely, no tampons or pregnancy tests. Maybe for Mother’s Day.


I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but when I receive an eBlast about drinking smuggled mezcal, I just don’t feel nearly as cool as actually smuggling the mezcal myself.  I think I’ll book a trip to Oaxaca and one-up this “ex-pat.”

Ramping Up

And so it begins, although cranky Sam Sifton and lifesaving hero chef Tom Colicchio have been bantering about ramps on Twitter for a few weeks already. 

I would very much like to see a Law & Order with some kind of ramp-centric plot. Maybe Jeremy Sisto has to go undercover at the Greenmarket to see who is poisoning the ramps, and of course it turns out to be the mousy assistant chef whose ramp tartlet recipe was stolen. She goes crazy and starts killing chefs all over town—sort of Phantom of the Paradise crossed with The Cook, the Thief, the Wife, and Her Lover but with Linus Roache and Sam Waterston bringing justice to the mix. Hollywood? Call me. We’ll have ramps and discuss.

The Answer is Access, Access, Access


The “It’s Too Expensive to Eat Healthy Food” Debate


There are some views held by well-meaning reporters and food bloggers that are so specious that it makes me want to hammer a nine-inch nail into my head.

The worst of these shibboleths is that it’s too expensive to eat healthy food.

Except that it’s pretty well-documented that eating a healthier diet IS more expensive, whether you go by the price-per-calorie model or not. And, what constitutes a healthy diet varies by person, so just because one person is able to eat healthily and inexpensively, doesn’t mean we all can.

What bothers me the most about this post, though, is that the author seems to ignore the fact that the expense of eating healthy foods is NOT just about the cost of food itself. It’s about access. How many grocery stores are in your area? Do you live in a food desert? Do you live out in the middle of nowhere, where there’s only one store around for miles? So much for comparison shopping. Do you live in an urban neighborhood, where there’s a fast-food joint on every corner, but the nearest Whole Foods is 15, 20 miles away? Do you have a car to drive to that Whole Foods? If not, what about mass transit? Does it even go there? Is it affordable to take it that far?

It’s also about time. If you’re working multiple jobs just to keep your bills paid, food shopping several times a week for fresh food might not be an option. Neither is taking the time to venture out to the suburbs to the aforementioned Whole Foods. Or taking the time to read through labels to avoid government-subsidized ingredients in processed foods, like HFCS. Or going to different stores to compare prices. And what about the time that goes into preparing a meal from all these fresh foods? What about the space required to store them? I’d love to stock up on boneless, skinless chicken when it’s on sale, but my freezer only holds so much.

And while the author keeps his/her post strictly about food, let me go beyond that to the subject of exercise. Being able to afford a gym membership is a privilege. Being able to go for a walk or jog in a relatively safe neighborhood where random shootings and muggings and rapes are not a huge threat? Also a privilege. As is having a home big enough to store exercise equipment. Or having time to devote specifically to exercise as well.

These are not excuses; it’s reality, for many, many people. We’re privileged enough to be sitting here on the internet, yammering on about all this, when people out there can only be concerned with surviving. And for a lot of people, that’s grabbing a cheeseburger and a caffeinated beverage from the McDonald’s dollar menu while on the way to work, just to have enough energy to work, because that is all that time and money allow.


-Julia Childless

Have Your Steak and Hide It, Too

At first I was confused by this WSJ story about how high end restaurants are feeling optimistic because “expense-account spending is trickling back.” I had this weird idea that spending other people’s money is kind of why the economy tanked, but I was obviously wrong. Boomtimes, here we come! 

Of course, the transition from bust to boom can be stressful. How do you walk past all those laid-off workers and ruined stockholders with your stomach full of steak? Awkward. Luckily, some restaurants are providing cover for those who want to spend a lot on meals without rubbing it in our faces. Maloney & Porcelli, a steakhouse in New York, will give you leftovers in a bag from a cheaper restaurant, and they have an online fraud fake receipt generator that lets you enter the amount of your meal and get  sales slips that will make it seem like you’re one of the little people.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go roll around in my money room.