Real tough burgers!

(Judas Priest Burger, on Chicagofoodies.com)

My original intention on investigating Kuma Burger was to expose a real nasty, slop-happy burger.   However, a visit to their website pushed me in a different direction.  You see, I first read the rules for the establishment:

But, first, Some information for when you get here, to make your trip enjoyable for all. Including us:
1) We do not take reservations.
2) We will not “put on the game, bro”
3) No music requests.
4) No Minors after 10pm.
5) Our kitchen is only 16×6. Please be patient.

And, you know, if I hadn’t familiarized myself with the menu beforehand, I would have assumed this “burger joint” was a grubby bar with the requisite burger, cheeseburger, and maybe a veggie burger (but not likely).  I would assume the only extras would be bacon (shut up, bacon!) and maybe some mayo. 

I am sorely mistaken.

Behind the gruff bravado of these pub rules is a menu fit for a foodie king.  It’s one thing to put down house rules, but when the logo is a fierce bear, growling, I’m just not sure of the congruence with items such as the “Lair of the Minotaur” burger, made of Caramelized Onions, Pancetta, Brie, and Bourbon Soaked Pears.  And the “Slayer” burger is supposedly topped with “anger.”  Pfff.  I’m afraid the bark here is worse than the bite.

(The backstory must be read to be believed)