Wait, WHAT? There was a Cheeseburger stabbing? I had to know more.
So I googled.
And I found this: Legal Aspects of the Toledo Cheeseburger Stabbing. Which includes this:
Even were the authorities disinclined towards leniency, though, the settled law is on his side. In 1973, writing for the majority in Momma v. Boy, Thurgood Marshall famously stated, “It is the Court’s considered opinion that these unfortunate events could have been mitigated or avoided entirely by Plaintiff through the simple expedient of the bitch bringing [Defendant] a damn burger.”
Somehow, my life is complete.