Someone got a red velvet cake for some reason or another today so we all had some. And no one talked about how they make red velvet, or what red velvet is or anything! There was even some sidetalk on this whole Jonathan Franzen situation. There is hope for society yet.
Once, when I was 13, I made a red velvet cake. My sister and her best friend tried to help, and we were all super psyched to eat it, but we didn’t have any vegetable oil. So I melted crisco and added that instead.
Crisco doesn’t turn into vegetable oil. It turns back into crisco when it cools.
Man that red velvet cake was nasty.