They might as well rename it “Hello, Creepy,” because that’s exactly how you’ll feel purchasing Hello Kitty wine, from the moment you ask the sales clerk where to find it, right through to the cash register ring-up, where they will encircle the neck of your bottle with a pendant suitable for a six-year-old. Nothing makes you feel like a pedophile faster than buying a bottle of Hello Kitty Wine.

Kara Newman on SeriousEats, reviewing Hello Kitty Rose.

Normally I would try to find something shut-uppable, but the weather is so nice here in NYC, it’s Friday, and Ms. Newman cracked me up with this opener.