Kombuchaya Khameleons

Snacktime: I think it’s funny that we both wanted a kombucha as soon as we read this story

Meatball:  I want a grape one.  It tastes like swampy grape soda.  I love it.

Snacktime: Are we supposed to be embarrassed now? I’m not. A million people drank GT Kombuchas last year. Kombucha Nation!

Meatball:   I saw a picture of Amanda Seyfried drinking GT Kombucha.

Snacktime: Is there any kombucha with bacon? You’ve been owning the bacon beat. Better get on that.

 Meatball:  I totally just googled that.  All I can find is “Kombucha is the new bacon.”  *hangs head*

 Snacktime:  Maybe someone really healthy needs to take it to the next level, like a kombucha terdrinken: kombucha with green tea and wheat grass. Then it will be ready for bacon.

 Meatball:  There are kombucha martinis, you know.

 Meatball:  I mean, alcohol *is* the gateway drug to bacon, or so I’ve heard.

Snacktime: Remember when I tried to make my own? People were like “It’s so easy!” NO. I had to brew all this tea and keep an vat of “mother” on the one square foot of counter space in my kitchen. And it was never fizzy enough. Turns out I only like my hippie drinks in yuppie packaging.

 Snacktime: PS I am drinking one right now. I think it is good we are talking about this out in the open. It’s like that time Madonna was eating a Fig Newton during and interview and said “This will prove to everyone that I’m not perfect,” or something. God I love her.

Meatball:  Wait – how does that prove that she’s not perfect?  I hate Fig Newtons.  Is there a fig kombucha, because that would be the ultimate in niche-y niche.

Snacktime: I think it was because she was a vegetarian at the time and it turned out they contained suet—and now we are back to bacon. The end.