spies

A Man With Muffin Secrets

drawing of a locked file that sarys "ESPIONAGE"

There is nothing that is not hilarious and compelling about this NYT story about corporate deviance going on between Hostess Bakeries and, yes, Bimbo Bakeries, it what can only be called A CASE OF NOOKS AND CRANNIES.

Only seven people in the whole world know the secret to the above-mentioned “nooks and crannies” to be found on the surface of Thomas’ English Mufffins, which is owned by “Mexican bakery giant Grupa Bimbo.” Why have they haven’t brought this memorable brand name to America, I do now know. I would eat a chocolate Bimbo any day. They also own Entenman’s and several other brands. Anyway, a top guy at Thomas’ who is in on the secret quit his job, intending to go to work for Hostess, the Thomas’ people are accusing him of treachery and it is on. I could not hope to improve on the Times story which includes the following gems:

[A] corporate spectacle involving top-secret recipe files, allegations of clandestine computer downloads and an extreme claim of culinary disloyalty: dumping English muffins for Twinkies and Ho Hos.

[L]egal papers in the case suggest a muffin culture more reminiscent of Langley than Drury Lane. Recipe manuals are called code books. Valuable information is compartmentalized to keep it from leaking out. Corporate officials speak of sharing information on a “need-to-know basis.”

I only suggest you go read it now before 10,000 people forward it to you in the next 36 hours.

A Razor, A Shiny Spy

a razor, a shiny knife has super special dinners, a blog, a site with a buncha food porn on it, etc – so of course I read the eblasts they send out, half out of interest for Shut Up, Foodies, and half because I signed up long before I ever wrote for this site (shame).  I mean, they highlight 1000 year old eggs, they call themselves “theatrical” – how can I lose!?!

This go around (which, if you are so inclined to drop $75 and attend this week, do so here) the agenda includes some lessons in the following topics:

Knife sharpening
Chocolate processing
Application of hydrocolloids
Liquid nitrogen in the kitchen
Using transglutaminase
Sous-vide beef cookery
Caviar making

Basically, this is some el serio spy stuff.  Look at it.  I really don’t know what hydrocolloids are, so I’m going to guess they are guns.  And “using transglutaminase”?  Obviously that is instruction on how to use your superhuman invisibility weapons.  Sous-vide beef cookery is code for “the French are onto us!” and then, you know – caviar making.  ‘Cos a spy gotta eat, and they only eat caviar.  Duh.