Pop Gun

photograph of celery with peanut butter and raisins

I can’t be against a store that has 3,000 square feet of Pop-Tarts. I will be going there tomorrow! However, I am taken aback when I read things like this:

The shop’s focus will be a cafe offering about 30 new Pop-Tart treats like “ants on a log,” Kellogg says. That’s celery with peanut butter, sprinkled with wild grape Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tart “sushi” is a combination of three fruit varieties rolled together in a fruit wrap and sliced to look like a sushi roll.

For the love of god, flavor fatigue is one thing, but don’t mess with ants on a log.

Update: I have just learned that the store has “an hourly light show that simulates the look of frosting.”  A FROSTING PLANETARIUM. A FROSTITARIUM!

First, visitors will “get frosted,” Mr. Schoessel said, with a red light and a white light. That will be followed by brief pulses of light, “all different colors to mimic the sprinkles,” he said, “then another really bright light” to evoke wrapping the tarts in foil.

I’m just guessing, but I think you’d probably want to get “baked” before getting “frosted,” if you “know” what I “mean.”