Shut Up, Bacon: Guzzler Edition

Not content with being pretentiously retro, Jones Soda is now after your bacon-flavored holiday dollars. For $9.99 you can stuff a stocking with:

  • 2 Bottles of Jones Bacon Soda
  • 1 Tube of Bacon Lip Balm
  • 1 Package of Bacon Popcorn
  • 1 Package of Bacon Gravy Mix

And because revolting carbonated beverages aren’t just for meateaters, they also offer Tofurkey-and-Gravy Soda.

Do we want to think about why there is a dog on the label? Probably not. Just for you guys, I registered on the site and added a “gross” tag to each product, which is an exciting feature that (I KNOW) offers.


Hi Shut Up Foodies,

We haven’t heard from you WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU? but SINCE WE DON’T READ AND CAN’T TAKE A HINT, we’d still love to partner with you to offer a free STUPID SOUNDING COOKBOOK to your readers.

A STUPID RECIPE CONTEST on your blog THAT ISN’T ABOUT COOKING would engage your already active foodie audience HAHAHA, and reward them for doing what they do best- cooking! MORE HAHAHS Besides, who doesn’t love free cookbooks? US. WE DO NOT LOVE FREE COOKBOOKS.

Please take a look at OUR STUPID WEBSITE for some of the recipes that your readers could tackle for the contest. OH MY GOD.

If you’re still interested in running a STUPID BOOK STUPID CONTEST on your blog, or you’d like more information, please contact THE WORLD’S DUMBESTPUBLICIST, OH SORRY THE TITLE IS “SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER”