So Michael Foucault and Jeremy Bentham Walk Into an Elementary School Cafeteria

Surveillance, food police, outrageous bodies.  Leslie Kinzel is a genius. Read it. The only thing wrong with this story is that there should be a photoshop of the above scenario for LOLs. Which is what we are here for!

A shot of a school cafeteria. Two children are pushing their trays down the counter. One has Michel FOucault's head and the other has Jeremy Bentham's. Foucault has a thought bubble that says "Ever feel like you are being watched?" Bentham has a bubble that says "All the time."

If this isn’t hilarious enough for you, perhaps you’d like to send your squirt off to school with a Foucault thermos as a Statement.

a thermos that has the text of "Foucault's Critique" silk screened on the outside [I'd like a criticism of scintillating leaps of imagination. It would not be sovereign or dressed in red. It would bear the lightning of possible storms. ~ Michel Foucault]

(Yes, we have considered “Shut Up, Cafe Press.” OF COURSE WE HAVE. But this is a hobby, you know?)

Are You a SAD EATER?

A complex diagram on a white board about SAD eaters and explaining nutrition to them

Holy crap you guys I was googling “sad eater” to find a funny photo for your amusement to go with the post about Eater (.com) being sad, and SAD EATER IS A THING.

It means “Standard American Diet.” This lady is married to a SAD EATER and it’s hard on her relationship. From a post titled “Big Lesson About Married to a SAD EATER:

I have only been raw for a little over 1 year and a half- I have been married for 17 yrs. It’s been weird for my husband-he sometimes does not understand why I am doing this.

I am not even preachy-I don’t tell people why they should eat this way (unless THEY want to know). He even told me that he is tired of hearing about how bad soda is..etc.. He’s even ‘wondering’ if we would be together if I would have been raw back then. WOW I am shocked that he would say that to me!! I have not forced this on him, or my family.. I am just being me!! All of this really caught me off guard–I love him dearly but dang it! He needs to understand that this is what I am about. I guess he thought I would try it and stop-nope-that’s not going to happen!

Dang it! She does not sound preachy at all.

There’s stuff like this all over.  It mostly seems to be something raw foodists use to describe those who haven’t seen the uncooked light.  There are lots of blog posts and forum threads devoted to the wacky dumbass things that the unenlightened SAD EATERS. (I know it’s not supposed to be all caps but it just feels right, doesn’t it?)

It’s sort of like the SAD EATERS are like the Germans on “Hogan’s Heroes”–bumbling, genial NAZIs who are endearing but nevertheless have sworn their allegiance to Hitler. I think my favorite is “SAD Eaters Say the Darndist Things” (sic), a thread on a raw food website created by someone named “svelte.” (I know) The topic is 12 pages long. (I KNOW)

However, this is pretty mindblowing. It was posted on by someone named “MissChanandlerBong” (I know) with the following description:

I just wanted to show you guys a little scenario of what happens when I try to explain raw food and it’s benefits to my friends and others who thinks raw foodism is ridiculus. In this video the man represents me and the goat represents my friends and co.

Again–totally not preachy and self-righteous! So weird that they have not converted everyone to the exaltation of raw food because if obviously does not turn people into total jerks. But this isn’t a stance particular to raw foodists, as SUF readers know–it’s a not-that-extreme example of foodie elitism and the ridiculousness of calling on individual fortitude while ignoring a systemic problem, an attitude which is all too common, SADly.

Note: I got so sucked into the SAD EATER world that I didn’t even get to the whole “Crying While Eating” movement. I urge you to explore it for yourself.