I-Sauce-eles?

[A]nyone who has gotten a Subway sandwich knows most Subways layer their isosceles-cut cheese in an overlapping fashion. This means one side of the sandwich gets more cheese than the other and leaves pockets of zero cheese, resulting in a uneven flavor and texture distribution.

Consumerist, always pushing for corporate responsibility. The real question is—how has Andy Rooney not done a segment on this topic???

And His Wife Would Eat No Lean

He couldn’t eat toast because the bread was not rye. Pastries produced such an involuntary shudder that he might have been witness to a particularly gruesome crime scene. He would only consent to the yogurt on the strict condition he could add berries. And the (perfectly fine) hotel coffee was rejected, so after much research an assistant was dispatched to a coffee house as “Rene only allows himself caffeine once a day and it has to be the best”. If this is breakfast, lunch must be like the hundred year war.