Shut Up Foodies Mystery Pig!

I was in the English Major Cheese Shop today, getting out of the wind and looking around. And then! I espied this delightful confection on offer.

What is it? Why is there a little man with a ladder astride a marzipan pig? (Note: I think it is a man for probably all the wrong reasons but it could be a woman or a trans individual.) What does it mean? Is he using the pig for transport? Is he going to stand on the pig and use the ladder to get somewhere? Is the mushroom on the front of the package a clue? Perhaps the pig found some truffles in an attic?

I asked the nice young novelists behind the counter and they puzzled over it with me. “I think he is a chimney sweep,” one offered. “That’s why he has the ladder.” I refrained from shouting CHIMNEY SWEEPS DON’T HAVE LADDERS THEY HAVE BROOMS, SILLY ENGLISH MAJOR, and brought my little man and his pig home. Why shout? I have a blog. Also, when I got home I realized there was some merit to his theory. If you have no soul and don’t think Mary Poppins is a definitive authority on chimney sweeps.

At home, freed from the package, my little man is even more alluring.

I know that in Germany marzipan pigs are given at Christmas and New Year’s as good luck symbols. In junior high German, our teacher, though not big on declension, loved to teach us idioms and I remember  “Ich habe Schwein gehabt,” means “I’m lucky!”

But that does not account for the top hat, the ladder, the catsuit. Maybe he is a burglar?

Before the explainers bore us to death, I’m proposing a contest. Whomever writes the most creative and thoughtful story that encompasses the pig, the man, and their accoutrements will win! Something! To be determined!

I looked on the Carstens-Marzipan website and didn’t see them, btw. Also, I already ate the pig and it wasn’t that good. (TWSS)

May the best pigtale (AHA YES) win!