@Popjustice Asks: What Would You Serve Nicki Minaj?

Well, I was expecting a myriad of responses to be extremely porny, but some people really answered good-naturedly, such as ClareJay who said, “I took a quiche out of the freezer earlier. To be quite frank, she’ll just have to make do.”  Or MrDrewy who said, “ANYTHING SHE WANTED!!!! PIZZA, HOT DOGS, CHILEAN MINERS ANYTHING!!!!!!”  Enthusiasm.  It’s really what’s for dinner.  However, the best so far, in my opinion is:  whoismatthew:  “Haggis Nachos – whatever else?” Mmmm. Haggis nachos.

I think I’d have to make Ms. Minaj a Pepsi float.  And the Pepsi would be borrowed from my roommate.  As would the pistachio gelato that would be the ice cream portion of this concoction.  Served in a hollowed out potato.  Yum!

Ro*veeta to be served in Williamsburg

Grub Street New York reports on the latest opening in Williamsburg – Mable’s Smokehouse:

“There wasn’t a place in our neighborhood to find the food we grew up eating,” says Love. That food — borracho beans, Rotel-Velveeta dip, Luzianne sweet tea, hot links imported from Schwab’s in Oklahoma City, pulled-pork tamales, and, of course, pie — makes its debut in a suitably honky-tonk setting that the couple built themselves.

As an avid fan of Rotel & Velveeta, mixed together, drizzled over tortilla chips – I find this… to be… stupid. Of course Velveeta & Rotel isn’t served in restaurants – you make it at home and cry into it while wearing your pajamas and watching Ryan Gosling movies like any other self-respecting creep.  Am I the only one irritated with this?  I grew up eating Schwann’s pizzas – are they gonna trick them out for Williamsburgers too?  What about celery with peanut butter in it?  Bologna & mustard sandwiches (with the mustard drawn on in a smiley face)?  No?   Too far?

There’s no price listed for it on their menu, but it better be less than making it yourself.  Also – you’re not fooling me with “housemade BBQ corn nuts.”  I buy mine at 7-Eleven like the other toothless no-goods.

PS.  Wonder Bread sucks

Castle Fryskull

Castle Fryskull is a legendary/mythical location situated in a barren McDonaldland. It serves as home to Ronald McDonald and to the mysterious and rarely-seen Hamburglar, as well as a place of refuge for the Happy Meal Gang and the McNugget Buddies. Its origins are unknown except for the fact that it was constructed to protect an unspecified source of power from those who would misuse it. It is a frequent target for the forces of evil.

(pic found here)

“I go to restaurant websites for the ambiance.”

While browsing here, I discovered a new tumblr that criticizes restaurant websites with some choice quotes, such as:

“I really like the way their cheesy elevator jazz interacts with the music I was listening to in iTunes.”

“I log on more frequently since I know the menu is coming soon.”

“I’m particularly partial to those restaurant websites where the background is dark (say, black), and so is the text (say, maroon)! It makes reading like a work-out for my eyes. Thanks for keeping my peepers strong, restaurant website!”

I salute you, Never Said About Restaurant Websites!  You’re picking up our slack!

(the 60s cocktail menu up there is really just so Snacktime calls me for a drink)

Happy New Year!


I just discovered BlissTree, a site that is basically something else I can squander the working hours away.  The post “10 Healthy, Sustainable New Year’s Food Resolutions” was especially interesting, if not for what super-duper healthy people think you should be doing for the new year (*cough, cough – unrealistic*), but for the notes from the site that put it more into perspective (in italics after each resolution):

Want to Change the Food System? 10 Simple Things You Can Do (courtesy ofFood, Inc. via Farm Catskills)

1. Stop drinking sodas and other sweetened beverages (iced teas, energy drinks, etc).
You can lose 25 lbs in a year by replacing one 20-ounce soda a day with a no-calorie beverage (preferably water). (from Center for Science in the Public Interest) Okay, this we can do. Very reasonable.

2. Eat at home instead of eating out.
Children consume almost twice (1.8 times) as many calories when eating food prepared outside the home. And at home, you’re more likely to be eating locally grown foods, and more of your food dollars will go to a local farmer. Busted. We know we should be doing this anyway, if only for our bank accounts. And we loathe those plastic and styrofoam take-out containers. So then, restaurants for special occasions only in 2011.

3. Stay away from processed foods; prepare meals from scratch.
Many delicious and nutritious meals can be made very quickly and simply – and you get more nutrition and value from your food dollars. We know, we know: Processed foods are a serious hindrance to overall good health. And even though we’re all really busy in our everyday lives, we’re going to try very hard to resist reaching for them in the grocery store aisles.

4. Tell schools to stop selling sodas, junk food, and sports drinks.
Over the last two decades, rates of obesity have tripled in children and teens. Okay, doable. Hopefully an email letter-writing campaign will be as effective as one on paper.

5. Eat local, grass-fed meat.
An estimated 70% of all antibiotics used in the United States are given to farm animals in feedlot conditions. Grassfed meat is available year-round from local farmers who do not give their animals growth hormones or routine antibiotics. More expensive than standard grocery store meat, to be sure, but may be worth the investment in terms of our health and the environment. And we’re lucky enough to have several farmers’ markets near us, so we don’t have the excuse of “no access” to fresh, local foods.

6. Buy organic or sustainable food with little or no pesticides.
According to the EPA, over one billion pounds of pesticides are used each year in the U.S.Okay, here’s where the class/socioeconomic issue comes into play. It’s one thing to buy cheap fresh vegetables from your local farmers’ market, but organic foods from places like Whole Foods are pretty damn pricey, especially for most families. (Make no mistake, the organic food industry is a $25-billion-dollar business. And yet, according to the Organic Trade Association, organic food and drinks accounted for less than 4% of food sales in the U.S. in 2009. Why so little? High prices, mostly. And lack of access.) That said, we’ll try to go organic when we can, but we don’t all have the luxury of buying strictly organic products every time we food shop.

7. Support a local farmer; visit your farmers’ market, join a CSA, or shop at a locally-owned food retailer.
Buying local foods allows farmers to keep a larger share of each food dollar, and keeps more of your money circulating in the community. Find local farmers in New York State at Pure Catskills. Done. We actually already do this, and will try our best to do it more often.

8. Make a point to know where your food comes from — READ LABELS.
The average meal travels 1,500 miles from the farm to your dinner plate. Easy enough to do, and worth the extra few minutes. And important. But sorry, we’re not giving up our Italian parmigiano or our natural wines from France anytime soon.

9. Let Congress know that food safety is important to you.
Each year, contaminated food causes millions of illnesses and thousands of deaths in the U.S.Okay, I guess we can (and will) make time to send a few more email screeds, this time to the federal government.

10. Join Farm Catskills to stay on top of the issues that affect our local food system.
A strong grassroots membership base helps us continue our efforts and make a difference.Cool. And we can join other local food activist organizations like Slow Food USA, Just Food, or find a local CSA near us.

My only problem with these resolutions is that there are no fancy champagne cocktails on this list.  Or special, organically grown candies, like Gobstoppers and Sprees (um, hello, they are made from natural magic, people).  Granted the woman who released these 10 was also responsible for a list of 10 for herself which included buying a cow (hey man, I get the milk for free) and then foraging for food (no).

My resolutions for this year actually include buying more socks and hacking off a foot of my hair.  Ok, ok, I also decided to add bananas to my diet, since the commercials are so persuasive.