Month: April 2010

Natalie Zarzour: Pastry Chef, Pussification Expert, and Ass Aficionado

I’ve recently discovered the jaw-dropping Twitter feed of Natalie Zarzour, proprietor of Pasticceria Natalina, “an Italian pastry shop featuring Sicilian specialties” in Chicago. It’s amazing! I pulled out some choice ones. (A few are edited for capitalization.):

People who say “I wouldn’t like that” about a food they’ve never had remind me of men who don’t believe they’d like  getting it in the ass…

Foodie Blogging is the worst thing that’s happened to food since industrialization. 97% of ‘em are just blind leading the blind. And that 97% is responsible for the pussification of chefs and restaurantuers, (and all those of us who do food for a living.) 

After all, if eating’s your hobby, u can no longer see your own toes, & can’t even fuck well, ur not a foodie – just an insatiable glutton.
 
And why do we embrace cheap meals? Low prices are just a screaming red flag that something is very wrong. Especially with ethnic foods. Take Asian for example: prepared in a traditional manner that is both delicious and nutritious, it should be very expensive in Chicago.

There’s no such thing as high-end vs. inexpensive pastry. Pastry is a luxury artform, period. Inexpensive pastry is simply imitation pastry.

A note to all the breeders out there: a movement toward sustainable agriculture will go nowhere if we continue to overpopulate the planet.

Opinions r like assholes: everybody’s got one! A good chef should care about public opinion as much as they’d enjoy sniffing your dirty ass.

Holy Sweeney Todd, Batman! Furthermore, Ms. Zarzour has an issue with another local pastry chef, Sarah Levy. After asking, “Why is someone who bakes at the proficiency level of a soccer mom needed to instruct soccer moms on how to bake anyways?” on Twitter, she told Grub Street Chicago that Ms. Levy “is putting out really generic, low-quality items. I feel like it’s some of the least-inspired, most generic and uninteresting stuff that I have ever seen.” She also semi-accused the other chef of orchestrating vandalism. Tell us what you really think, Natalina!

I should disclose that I found Natalina’s Twitter because I was googling “Shut Up Foodies” (Oh, like you don’t do it as well.) and found a discussion of it on LTH Forum, “the Chicago-based culinary chat site.” Although I can’t for the life of me figure out what LTH stands for—“Less Than Hungry?” “Love That Hospital?” “Let’s Talk Heatedly?”—they have a  thoughtful and lengthy discussion of pasticceria posts that is worth checking out.

I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, of course I love anyone who is unbalanced and outspoken. On the other hand, her elitism, misogyny, ableism, sizeism, opinions on ethnicities that aren’t her own, and theories about up-the-ass-getting are pretty repellent. What I do know is we are now subscribed to her Twitter feed.

—Snacktime


Eagle St Rooftop Farms: What’s up in your backyard?

(Eagle Street Rooftop Farms, Greenpoint BK)

Today, my local rooftop farm opens, rain or shine.  In the email I received yesterday announcing this occasion, they also mentioned a beekeeper giving a lecture at 2pm.  The excerpt:

Tomorrow the free 2pm lecture series begins on the rooftop with Ross Conrad speaking on beekeeping. One of the most inspiring lecturers at this year’s NOFA conference, we’re looking foward to hearing his take on urban beekeping, now that it’s legal in NYC.  In a city of neophyte apiaries, we’re looking forward to his wise words.  There are three new hives (and soon, chickens!) on our rooftop—what’s happening in *your* backyard?

Naturally, I’d like to take this moment to answer what is happening in my backyard. I’m not growing any vegetables or fruits although my landlord planted tomatoes last year and the birds went affe-scheisse on them.  But what’s really happening, readers, is a full-on Kitty Bar.  Open 24/7.  Neighborhood cats galore, rowling and murring and getting their jollies in my backyard.

So, Eagle Street Rooftop Gardens, I know it’s no beekeeping hive stuff.  And there are no chicken coups.  But somehow, someway, I’m contributing.  Very negatively, actually.  But still.  That’s what’s happening in *my* backyard.

From Our Inbox, In Andy’s Honor

My absolute favorite is when Andy Rooney reads his mail on the air. What could be more interesting? Here’s some of ours:

Can you please have a recurring feature called ‘DIE CUPCAKES DIE”?

My favorite line: “You don’t just grow a chicken, you form a relationship.”

Shut Up Chefs!  We don’t need your recipes for the dog!

I might have missed this on your site, but there is now bacon-flavored baby formula. yikes.

Superscratch. Oh god.

—Snacktime