Snacktime

Annals of Unasked Questions, Part the Second

billy corgan with a dirty handFloFab, today:

Q: You have probably received this question a million times but I couldn’t find it in the archives. My boyfriend licks his fingers really noisily, I’m not used to licking fingers at all when at table (whether at home or in a restaurant). What can I say in a polite way to make him stop?

A. If your boyfriend licks his fingers noisily, you might suggest he use silverware. Or bring some packaged towelettes along and hand him one
Are we talking about a man who does not use silverware? And that is not an issue, it is just the licking? More specifically, the sound of the licking? Or do they only go to restaurants that do have finger food, but don’t have napkins? This will haunt me for weeks.

Somebody Has a Dictionary!

painting of sir francis bacon

Verily, it is he. Sir Francis Bacon.

Time magazine’s Josh Ozersky on sub-par bacon:

Even more depressing is the fact that these flaccid slices are found sprawling, like rotting seaweed, atop the very sandwiches that promise veritable meatgasms upon consumption — the giant, multilevel calorie bombs that you see think pieces written about.

What’s the opposite of a think piece?

Here’s a Thing!

photo of mel gibson

He gets bad reviews AND bad publicity!

People do not seem to understand the difference between “bad publicity” and “a bad review.”  Publisher’s Weekly saying your novel is immature and derivative is a bad review.  The news that you plagiarized your entire novel: bad publicity.  Pitchfork giving your record one star: bad review. The lead singer of your band hitting a fan on the head with her guitar: bad publicity. Yelper saying the food at your restaurant is terrible and the servers are slow: bad review. You going on Yelp and acting like a crazy person and barring that customer from your restaurant: bad publicity.

This has been a public service announcement.

Ice Cream Mecha

photo of haley joel osment from the movie AIHave I mentioned my love of the movie A.I, Artificial Intelligence? It is amazing, and so so so so so sad. If you don’t know the story, a couple whose son is in an irreversible coma adopt a robot boy who has been programmed to love. He bonds with the parents and they begin to be a family, until their biological son unexpectedly recovers.

The bio-sun comes home and he is a total little sneak and plays tricks on his robot brother, ultimately triggering a self defense mechanism that nearly kills them both. The mother, trying to prevent the destruction of her robot son, drives out into the woods and lets him go, saying, “I’m sorry I never told you what the world is like.” OMG IT IS SO SAD.

The robot, Henry, just wants to love. It is like the weird inversion of that video with the rhesus monkeys and they are clinging to the fake monkey mom and crying. EVEN SADDER.

But the Yaskawa-kun ice cream robot isn’t sad! It gives you ice cream! According to Eater:

Designed for kids, after making their selection on a touchscreen, the robot selects a cone, fills it with soft-serve, drizzles sauce over it, adds toppings, and passes it to them through a window, all while maintaining a perky smile.

Now I want to cry. And have some ice cream.

PS: Science!

The Extreme Glory of Eater.com

Eater is looking for interns.

Are you an eager, perhaps college-age, person who happens to read Eater on a daily, or perhaps, obsessive basis? Is journalism and/or the internet in your blood? If so, this opportunity may be for you.

The pay is exactly zero dollars; the glory, extreme; the possibility for this to grow into an even better opportunity, plausible.

We’re sure as soon as they get some in, they will realize they are running a caption contest with no image.

Pour Champs Like a Champ

my handwritten note that says "last night we went to a diner on union and they served us champs in MUGS"

My paperblog of the event.

Last week I excitedly told Meatball about a place I went for dinner that served us champagne in MUGS. I even drew a picture for emphasis.

my line drawing of a mug with "life size" handwritten on it

"Life size"

Turns out I was totally on trend! BBC news reports today:

Researchers, based (appropriately) in France’s Champagne region, say the effervescent drink should be poured “like beer” in an angled way, down the side of the glass.

Gerard Liger-Belair from the University of Reims and his colleagues measured the loss of CO2 gas from champagne as it was poured. They compared three champagne temperatures – at 4C, 12C and 18C – and two different ways of serving.

Infrared imaging showed the clouds of CO2 escaping from the drink as it was poured.

The beer-like pouring method, where the champagne flowed along the inclined flute wall, was much less turbulent and released less gas than the more traditional pouring method.

How awesome is this? Studying champagne with infrared imaging? That’s FRENCH SCIENCE.

Immortal Corn

Captain Bill Harris from the TV show “The Deadliest Catch” will be honored with a corn maze in Tumwater, Washington this fall. THIS IS COMPLETELY RAD. The Rutledge Corn Maze explains:

photo of the corn maze

You can go up his nose!

As a tribute to Captain Phil Harris we are honored to announce the Captain Phil Harris Memorial Maze 2010. Captain Phil passed away from complications from a stroke he suffered on January 29, 2010 while the Cornelia Marie was in port off-loading. He was 53 and was survived by his sons, Josh and Jake Harris.

With a heart of a fisherman, an exterior as rough as burlap, and a laugh as big as the sea, Captain Phil told it as he saw it. One glance at the ink on his arms and Phli’s passions became clear: a pirate on one; Harley Davidson on the other. His wit was sharp and without apologies, whether he just enjoyed a rare, full night’s sleep or had not seen a pillow in 36 hours. He was kind, harsh, generous, and impatient as hell. He was a reluctant celebrity and a proud father.

Captain Phil was in the fishing industry for 33 years. For the past 19, he led the Cornelia Marie Crew, including his two sons, deckhands Josh and Jake. The boys knew how to push dads buttons, but they also got the job done. And, they were always watching out for Dad’s well being. Phil was an easy going captain and had a tight bond with his crew.

Aboard the Cornelia Marie, Phil’s crew is nothing short of a loyal, dedicated clan committed to making their boat one of the most successful crab-fishing vessels on the Bering Sea. As for Phil, there was no room for slackers or excuses, not even from sons Josh and Jake. Fact is, the hunt for Alaskan King Crab and Opilio crabs grows tighter and more fierce every season – and Phil was one captain who would not take a backseat to anybody. Please join us this year at Rutledge Corn Maze as we remember Captain Phil Harris.

I am so glad they cobbled this together. (I CAN’T HELP IT.) Seriously, could there be a better memorial? I would want mine to be actually haunted and scary but still.